date: Sunday, October 30, 2005 @ 1:06 am
title: Dramatic effect..
'You hurt me again and again and again.
For my sake, can u ever be soft with your words?
Can you? No you can't. Becos your heart has turn cold, hasn't it'
'Forget it man. Just forget it!
Get lost! I dun wan to see you. Ever again.'
Ouch. Drama sia..'Why? Why this has to happen?
Isn't once enough to teach you the damn lesson?
No! Why no? Answer me you fool! Answer now!'
'If it needs me to force words to come out from your teeth, I will.
For now speak! spit! vomit! cough out! I dun care! Tell me!'
Ouch. Hurtful sia..Okay. Drama's kinda of funny and corny at times.
Knife stuck in between the armpit kills..
Pain. Pain. Pain. Argh...
date: Saturday, October 29, 2005 @ 12:38 pm
title: Catch this..
:)
date: @ 12:15 pm
title: Milky way..
Like attracts like. Like produces like.
Happy Birthday renewed thoughts!!!Harted. Guilt. Fear. Inferiority.I am who I am.
date: Friday, October 28, 2005 @ 12:23 am
title: Question..
I'm free on friday night.
Anyone?
date: Thursday, October 27, 2005 @ 11:18 pm
title: Sabbath..
Okie.
Swimming is a boring sport.
But I just look too good to be true in triangular skin-tight black apparels. I just too hot to be ignored by Catty the cat.
I am vain..Swam 20 laps or more. I did relay without counting.
Just hit and swam like dolphin.
NASG: New Age Sensitive Guy.Whatever man..
I dun care man..
GP lecture was absolutely mad today.
Review lecture on Paper 1. Listen to this:
"Man are... ... they look at the two beasts (breasts lar) on women's chest." There were many more on spelling mistakes that just made it for 'Just for laugh: GP version' but I just love this one. Just imagine saying this to mama. She's going be lovin' it. BAD!!
Dad was all
lovey dovey yesterday.
I met him and whispered with my arms on his pointy shoulders,
'Dad. I love you.'He smirked and wrote FAMILY on a piece of scrape.
'You know what does it mean?''Father..''And Mother..''I Love You. Yeah!'Time to pray.
It's going like attending Andrew's school of
THOUGHTology again.
Prayer Time. Best Time. All the Time.
date: Tuesday, October 25, 2005 @ 10:04 pm
title: Day 4..
Lust is the worst kind of poison.
Now I'm going through detoxic.
Running on cold turkey.
Fight the fight.
Praise the Lord!
He shall break your lethal weapon with His blood.
Go to Hell. Satan.
date: @ 3:40 am
title: Food..
Putting all the emotions and feelings aside.
I plunged into Makan Fiesta with my beloved Open hse committee.
Well.. this time round I ain't the scandalous one.
The baton is unknowingly stretched to my die hard chairman.
muhahahaha.. everyone just loves to tease him.
Emotionally inflicted case :p
On the journey to the Bugis SoulGarden, all of us were making a hell of racket in the SMRT
capsule. Blabbering non-stop and teasing the same people all over again. Another absurd remark was made about me: I'm too chin na (chinese) to be an angmo (english) marist. Well.. life still has to go on even I'm not one. hahaha..
We arrived earlier by train than those who drove and were driven there. Word of advice: take the public transport during peak hours. Nothing is faster than that..
My lifespan was underutilized while camping by the enterance of SG. I was so bored and dying of gastic invasion that I explored the upper Parco while visiting the gents. I made a discovery: the urinals are fitting and cozy to use. Shoik man! hahaha.. I was still bored after the toilet visitation and decided to escort SOMEBODY back there. Names will not be mentioned to protect the privacy of those individual and my sovereignty, due to the unknown violence that might induced by their underestimated actions: hacking me with a butcher chopper.
Upon my return..
Suddenly, there's a multiplication of human being. The driver and the passagers had arrived and congregated with the campers. I assumed that due to the lack of protien and carbohyrates in our bodies, our conversation had a sudden twist. Little bits of sexual connotation. Die.. I ran away from temptation. Hahahaha.. Escaping from the clenches of my flaw.
Food. I was spoilt with choices.
I fathom. Maybe I didn't have the chance to be able to feast on SG that often.. like once in a blue moon, that's why I had the capacity to take in so much sizzling hotplate random meat and eat whatever I can.
It was a romantic dinner lar.
We were making another hell of a racket while couples were trying to cultivate the atmosphere for romances.. SORRY!! hahaha.. they just kept to their whispers and nothing else.
That reminded me of V'day..
date: Monday, October 24, 2005 @ 1:39 pm
title: 25 days..
For the past 25 days or to be precise 25 days 13 h 39 min is all over after yesterday's weeping and moaning over those issues that were raised without any signals.
I'm a ghost now.
Bitten once, scared twice, never thrice.
This is the second time I cried non-stop from the sunrise until sunset.
The first time was when I was just a naive and innocent little ruddy boy.
This time round.. I can't breath a complete sentence. Just this one word - 'unrealistic'
Maybe just having dreams is better than desires.
Maybe now I finally felt the agony of Cassio.
It has never been about reputation.
It's all about relationship, bond and trust.
I'm a empty wineskin now.
My wine was unholy and defiled.
I'm tainted and I have lost what I was passionate for.
Maybe this is the consequence for not listening to instructions.
I'm now nothing much but a commoner struggling to turn around and discard what meant to be something beautiful but was shattered by my bloody rough hands.
I can't bring myself to whisper it.
I would rather run away than to think about it. I would rather serve the roots and unearth the remainings and burn the soil. I would rather build a tombstone and crave my tears with blood and sweat. I would rather be cut off from the wired society and hid within the shadow of the skyscapers.
I would but I can't bear to. Life has to go on. The world will not stop turning for a minute being who refused to listen to instructions. Moreover, the earth is just a footstool. I'm defiled and my skin is filled with boils.
Even so, I will still smile and just be who I am used to be.
Contented self.
Until instructions are given again.
Until the birthright is recommissoned again.
I will just walk the walk and shut my mouth.
It's a choice that I chose.
It's the best for eveyone.
Forgotten is my middle name.
Rotten is my nickname.
I need some time.
Not to reflect but to be alone.
Home alone..
date: Tuesday, October 11, 2005 @ 2:53 am
title: Monologue
It's 2:53 and I can't sleep.
Thousand and one thoughts are running through my mind.
Top 5 things that I have to strife to deal with:
Faith
Commitment
Time
Relationship
Forgiveness
Ain't it just another beautiful day
Althought exams are over today
But commitments find their effects
that surface and unearth all the defects
Lacking of faith makes it double hard
Acting in faith cures all lousy hearts
that time is the antidote not enough
to make a sad gentleman laugh
If love is such an easy task
I would not hesitate a sec to ask
for forgiveness for my past
when I sunk deep into lust
Every action has its consequence
Merry and cheer is not eloquence
Coldy the cold-blooded wind brushed against my puffy cheeks, dampened with streaks of tears running along the contours on my pocket-marked face. I, a sad gentlemen, is suffering the death of faith. Elements of the past gradually surfaced with fear and sorrow. So hard for one to bear. But harder for both, for one must die to the other's Kingdom. Let me not make a choice, let me be a robot and worship thee systematically. Rationally bow down with bolts and nuts sticked to the joints. Painlessly.. KILL THE UNSOUND MIND!
A minute of silent. I not more before. I am today. Today is me.
date: Monday, October 10, 2005 @ 12:48 am
title: [o.o]
I made a choice.
date: Saturday, October 01, 2005 @ 8:27 pm
title:
As a camera boy..
